What is your default? Is it “yes” or “no?”

I have been reading Shonda Rhimes “Year of Yes.” It is a brilliant book. It’s about a year she made a commitment to her reluctant self to say “yes” to the things that came her way, especially those that scared her.

I love the book. But saying yes, is my m.o. It is how I operate. There’s a conflict? Put me in to resolve it. There’s a speech? Sure, where and when do you want me?

With a motto like “Don’t Await It, Create It” I best be curious and interested and moving toward things.

But I also know I say yes to things I might be better off saying no to. You know the things. Yes, I’ll loan you the money. Yes, I’ll volunteer for the 48th time to do something you need but I hate.

What I am learning is, my default is yes, and I encourage you make it yours but there is a rule. Is the yes about building a new experience, growing my capacity, moving toward my goals, making me happy? Then by all means, YES!

But if it’s about other people’s expectations, if it takes away from my goals, if I’m saying yes to something I don’t want to do but can’t figure out how to say no? Then the answer is not yes.

It’s no. And that’s the next lesson. But for today, what can you say yes to?