Early in my career, I used to think it was unfair for me to be happy when so many of those I was working to serve were so scared and unhappy. When I got engaged, I would take off my engagement ring when meeting with clients. I’d keep the fun in my life, vacations or entertainment, or other things to myself. I didn’t want to make anyone feel bad.
I was also angry at a world that treated people that struggled financially so badly. I took on the fight for those I served as if it was my own. It did make me fierce. It often made me successful. But it also made me miserable.Â
Systemic issues take years to resolve or improve. Not days. Being upset every day did not move the ball forward. Of course, you get mad when something you’ve worked on fails, but holding the anger on a daily basis is a waste of energy.
Along the way, I met a new colleague who was always joyful. Even when his own life was as big of a challenge as those he was helping. I was amazed at his resilience and his approach. He asked me one day, who was benefiting from my misery. Wouldn’t it be better if I was 1) more authentic and 2) show what was possible, not just what was wrong?
His question struck a nerve. I realized that my misery served no one. It didn’t change anything for them, it made me a stressed-out manager, a perpetually overwhelmed leader, and not the most fun girl in the room in the rest of my life. Shifting my perspective made me better at my work, both with people and as an advocate.Â
Have a great week. Do more of what makes you happy.
Julie
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