LEAD BOLDLY: They called who what?

Nine years ago, I ran for office. I did well in a five-way primary but didn’t win. But it was the most impactful 70-day learning experience I’d had in decades.

One of the big lessons was about how to manage my emotional responses. I joke that it surprised me as a sensitive person, I have the hide of a rhinoceros.

It’s kind of a joke but it was learned, and you can learn it too. As a leader, how and when I share emotions is important. In a 70-day primary, when and where I spent energy was also critical. 

So, what to do when my professional experience is misreported, or someone calls me a bitch in print? It is critical to acknowledge the feelings – the hurt, the rage, the fear. Because it’s healthy, but also because otherwise they will leak out in other ways.

But then what do you DO? 

Ask how big is it? How many people heard or saw it? What is the potential reaction? Most of us will not be called names in print, but in my casethousands saw it. At the least, my actual roles should be and werecorrected. But the straight upname calling, it was to a small group of people who were already not going to vote for me. While it was the more stinging insult, it was not worth fixing. I wasn’t going to change any minds in the short run, and to respond would amplify the problem. I chose to wait and not act in the moment. Ultimately I didn’t do anything, I moved on. And in a twist of fate, the person who said it, needed something from me later so apologized and took down the posts.  

As a leader, a comparable comparison might be a team member sharing across the organization information that is incorrect and potentially damaging to the team versus one team member shouting an insult in a one-on-one. Both demand action but at different levels and potentially at different times. For me, that means a calm but immediate response to the misinformation; and a pause for all to cool down before a second one-on-one either to solve the issue or consider personnel action. 

In summary, it’s three steps.

• Acknowledge your feelings perhaps with your closest circle?
• Ask about how wide and/or deep the impact may be?
• Decide consciously on the best course of action. 

Have a great week!

Julie